I wrote a book.

Like, I literally just finished. I’ve spent a decent chunk of this year on it, and the manuscript is still with the editors, so don’t worry – I’m not selling it yet. That’s not why I’m writing this.

I just wanted to try and capture some of the feelings at the moment, maybe to explain some of my anxiety about it.

Don’t get me wrong: I feel very good about getting this book out of my system, about having created the volume I first imagined over two years ago. I’m proud that I’ve made something I believe offers real value to people looking for it. It’s the book I wish I’d been able to read when I started doing comedy, so I feel great about being able to fill that particular hole in the market… even if I’m the only one who wanted it.

For context I should probably explain what the book is, otherwise none of this will make any sense.

It’s an instructional book about doing stand-up comedy. There’s lots of those, but most of the ones I’ve bought and read have one or more of the following characteristics that I wanted to avoid:

• Too simple, not helpful. More like a pep talk than a guide.
• Might help you write three cheesy minutes to badly present at a local comedy night but doesn’t actually tell you anything about actually being a comic; just how to cosplay one, once, for a few minutes
• Outdated industry information. So many books describe comedy and a comedy industry from the seventies and eighties, and doesn’t acknowledge anything that’s happened since. The alternative comedy movement, the internet, social media and Covid don’t even get a mention.
• Incredibly specialized. I read an amazing book last week about the industry, but it was written by a grizzled touring road dog and that’s exactly who it’s written for. If you need to know about emailing your “availas” to bookers, what car will be the most reliable and economical to drive all day, which are the cleanest and cheapest motels, how to get money from bookers who don’t want to pay, the etiquette around free drinks in clubs and whether it’s OK with sleep with the staff, this is totally the book for you. I think it’s a great book, a real insight into the lifestyle, but a lifestyle that doesn’t really exist in this country.
• Not enough about how to actually write jokes. Every masterclass I’ve attended, every conversation with comedians, every online meeting, everyone wants the same thing… ways to generate original content. Yet that’s missing from almost everywhere we look. Greg Dean’s “Step by Step…” book is maybe an exception, but it’s a single technique spending most of a book teaching you how to make a specific kind of one-liner.

There’s other issues but those are the ones that typically negate a book’s usefulness to me.

Where was the book that explained the environment and the mindset? What about the one that taught creativity, how to actually write material and what to write material about? Where was the information about stagecraft and performance? Why couldn’t any of these books be useful after your debut as well as before it? Where was the book that would help me think about defining my own style and brand?

Not being able to find any of that is why I wrote mine. And yes, I spend time showing how to write material in all formats. I discuss strengthening the material through structure and language. I talk about the mental processes used to create and think like a comic, as well as how ti integrate it all into your own voice.

Further, I tried to add a self-help element. I show how the skills you develop as a comedian help you in life, with negotiations and public speaking and mental health and breaking down problems. Plus, a lot more.

It was an ambitious undertaking. The book took longer to write than I expected because it ended up being a bigger book than I thought it would be, but I’m pleased with what it’s become.

I had plenty of sleepless nights writing it, and I assumed that all of the anxiety and angst would finish once I got to declare it done and send the final manuscript to the publishers. I was wrong.

There’ll be weeks of editing, formatting, design and distribution before this thing goes live That’s a lot of time to find new reasons to stress. And right now I’ve already got a few.

What could I possibly be stressing about? Let me count the ways:

• Imposter Syndrome. Any time you write a non-fiction book about something you’re kinda declaring yourself an expert.

Am I an expert? Well, yeah. In many respects I am. I’m the only person I know who can give you all the information I have in the book. I know my shit. I know the theory, I know the practice and I know unique perspectives and insights that I can offer. I think I’m the right person to write this book, and I know a lot of people who’ll readily agree.

But also, no. Well, not to some people anyway. Have I made a million+ dollars as a comedian? Nope. And I a full time working comic with 20+ year’s experience? Nope. Am I household name to comedy fans? Nah, not even close.

I don’t think any of these things would make my book any better, but I can’t deny that they would help me and my book get taken more seriously. We look to authorities and experts for our self help books, and I don’t have the credentials that readers might think are required.

Truthfully, I don’t think any of it would make a better book. Jerry Seinfeld or Joe Rogan can’t tell you how to become a mutli-millionaire through comedy. They can only tell you how they did it, which was a combination of luck and contacts and timing that you won’t be able to replicate. It’d be like a gold prospector showing you the mine they found. They already extracted all the gold; Showing you where they got it is useless to you.

I stand by my reasoning, but I’m still nervously waiting for someone to call me out and challenge my humble credentials.

• It Won’t Sell. This is a fairly reasonable fear. I’m not obsessed with sales figures, not yet anyway, but I’ll find the whole exercise painful if I don’t recoup costs.

If I were all about making a zillion dollars on Amazon KDP I’d have written a very different kind of book. Most of the “Make it big on Amazon” gurus propose writing low content trash, which is definitely not what I was trying to do. But I’m still invested in this thing.

There’s two ways to publish a book. You can pray one of the big publishers wants you, or you can do it yourself. I went the second way, and that’s what all smart writers are doing these says.

When a publisher pays an advance it’s not as big as you might imagine. It’s about $25k, and that’s splint into 3 payments over a couple of years. They you pay it back out of your profits, which are only about 15% when you let them front the costs.

In the meantime they still expect you to do all the promo and marketing yourself, just the same as if you self-publish. Usually they only pick about 3-4 books a year they push themselves.

If you saw someone on Shark Tank or (Dragons’ Den) pitching their business, which happens to be a book, and one of the Sharks said “I’ll pay you $8k three times over two years, you’ll pay it all back to me and I want 85% of your business” you wouldn’t advise that person to take the deal. Especially if the Shark isn’t going to help sell the book.

I wouldn’t tell anyone else to take that deal, and I wouldn’t take it myself. But it does mean investing in the project with my own funds… for editing, ISBN and barcoding, design, formatting and all the rest of the stuff that’s happening with it. I need the book to be relatively successful, just to pay for itself.

Can it? I don’t know. Checking Amazon’s best sellers in my very niche genre, I’m convinced that the audience isn’t big enough to do any serious trade with. It’s an extremely niche genre, so that isn’t encouraging.

I’ve already been asked what my marketing budget is, and that’s not a fun conversation when I’m already out of pocket. I don’t plan to spend money spamming people on Insta and TikTok, which I’m told is what writers are supposed to do these days. I think I’m going to have to decline that strategy, because the idea of this book becoming a money pit is the plot of my recent nightmares.

Since you’re here, I’m going to ask a favour. One thing that does help a book be found in Amazon’s vast ocean of product is reviews. Reviews matter over there, so I’m keen to get as many as possible. If you’re interested in reading a free advance copy of the book and prepared to review it on Amazon for me, please email me at sean@seancoopercomedian.com

It doesn’t have to be a positive review either. All I’m asking for is honesty

• Haters. They’re a thing. I try not to make a big deal of it but there have been times when I’ve copped hostile messages, mostly from people I know.

When I started this site and blog almost every post I made resulted in at least one message from a comic who imagined I’d hidden secret insults just for them in my text.

Ridiculous? Absolutely, on so many levels. For starters, these were mostly comedians who’d publicly pronounce the virtues of free speech that all the snowflakes around them to harden up and get resilient, but in private they’d be hypersensitive and offended at something aimed at them. Which it never was.

I’ve had a couple of years without toxic bullshit from troll and butthurt comics and their conspiracy theories about my articles, but I dread the thought that the book might invite a shipment of fresh bullshit from people who think everything’s about them.

The idea that originally incurred the wrath of certain peers was not using their advice, using my own judgement instead of obeying the established dogma they repeated to me. This, by the way, is one of the main themes behind the book and it’s title.

Most advice hasn’t been tested lately, isn’t current and doesn’t necessarily benefit everyone. Self-deprecating jokes, for instance, aren’t my brand and didn’t suit my act. I wasn’t interested in roasting myself on stage or pandering to people who’d like to watch me make myself suffer.

So I didn’t. And I got labelled arrogant and ungrateful for it. It’s where the ill will allegedly began. So writing a book that’s underwritten with the premise that you probably shouldn’t take everyone’s advice, not even mine, might open up that ugly can of worms all over again.

Silly? Sure, but it;s happened before. When I have trouble sleeping in the early hours of the morning I imagine that publishing a book with a couple of opinions in it is going to see me confronted in stupid ways. I really hope that doesn’t happen.

• Negative Feedback. I don’t think anyone loves the of seeing your name on a busy site like Amazon with a whole lot of comments saying “It’s stupid. He’s stupid. He sucks” and being unable to block it or take it down. That could happen. Yuck.

It’s hard enough saying “I’m finished” and meaning it. I’ve revisited and made changes to every chapter many times so far, and I have to keep reminding myself I can’t keep doing that. I’m probably still going to want to after it’s been printed.

I’m not special. I have to keep reminding myself that thousands of people write books every day and some of them might even be on their fortieth book. There’s no reason to feel like I’m the only one struggling with these anxieties, but I don’t see them talked about much. Do other writers think these things?

Anyway thanks for reading, I guess. it was more of a journal than an announcement so I’m not sharing this anywhere. But if you are interested in looking at the book and giving it a review later, you’re welcome to hit me up.